Think of a summer activity. You thought of going to the beach, right?
There’s nothing that screams July vacation more than a trip to the ocean.
Whether you’re building sandcastles, slurping on ice creams, or splashing around in the big blue waves, summer just isn’t summer without at least a day spent rolling around in the sand.
While you’re lying around trying not to get burnt and enjoying the hot sunshine, keep yourself entertained with these ocean and beach jokes.
We’ve got one-liner sand and ocean puns, jokes about beaches, the ocean, and more.
These jokes are so crab-tastic, you’ll be wetting yourself in no time (or was that just the waves?)
Beach Jokes
Let’s get started, beach! These sandy jokes will shorely get a laugh out of you.
These beach jokes are all family-friendly, and we’re certain the kids in your life will find these even more hilarious than you.
1. What do you call a witch that lives in the sand?
I don’t know but I’m getting hungry.
2. Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves.
3. Why are camels sand-colored?
Camelflage.
4. Is Sand Hot?
Of Coarse It Is!
5. Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?
It refused to peel.
6. What do you call it when a grain of sand loses its train of thought?
A grain-fart.
7. How do beaches greet each other?
With a sand-shake.
8. What do you call a French man who wears sandals to the beach?
Phillipe Phloppe.
9. What do you call a beach party that gets out of hand?
Sandemonium.
10. What did one sand dune say to the other?
I will never desert you!
11. What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
12. What Would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch.
13. What does Cinderella wear at the beach?
Glass flippers.
14. Is the beach confident?
It’s 100% shore.
15. Have you heard about the two martial arts fighters who fought on the beach?
It was sand-to-sand combat.
16. Why do people swim at saltwater beaches?
Because pepper beaches would make them sneeze.
17. Why was the detective at the beach?
There was a crime wave.
18. Who won the race between the sand and the sea?
Neither, they tide.
19. What kind of sandwich do you take to the beach?
Peanut butter and jelly-fish.
20. Why did the police get called to the beach?
There was something fishy going on.
21. What did the tree wear to the beach?
Swimming trunks.
22. What do you call a cat that lives at the beach?
Sandy claws.
23. What do pigs bring to the beach?
A surf-BOAR-d.
24. What was the first card game played at the beach?
Go fish!
25. What does Sonic the hedgehog wear at the beach?
A speedo.
26. Who rules the beach?
The sand-witch.
27. What do you call a pig on a lead at the beach?
Pulled pork.
28. What do you call a labrador at the beach in the summer?
A hot dog.
29. What did the family do when they arrived at their vacation destination?
They shell-erbrated.
Ocean Jokes
Well, well, let’s sea what we have here. These jokes about the ocean will be sure to ten-tickle you.
Don’t be shell-fish, if these jokes make you laugh, shore this blog post with your friends.
1. Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it’s see-food.
2. What do you call a fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
3. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
4. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
5. My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
6. What do you call waves that crash into small shores?
Micro-waves.
7. Why is the ocean blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
8. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?
Show me your mussels.
9. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Sea you later.
10. What is the sick boat used for?
To bring it to the dock.
11. Did you hear about the lawyer that tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
12. How does an octopus make you laugh?
With its ten-tickles.
13. Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she got too big for her B-shells.
14. What type of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy.
15. Do you think the sea is salty because the ocean never waves?
16. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
17. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
18. Did you guys hear about the shipment of spices that fell into the ocean??
Huge waste of thyme.
19. What did the sea say to the river?
You can run, but you can’t tide.
20. Pretend you are on a raft in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks.
You only have a one-day supply of water and a harpoon.
What do you do?
Stop pretending.
21. Did you hear about the restaurant that only caters to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
22. What did the fish get on his maths test?
C plus.
23. What happens when you throw a Finnish man into the ocean?
Helsinki.
24. What did the fisherman say when he got his net in a tangle?
Something a-piers to be wrong.
25. Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny.
26. Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
27. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for?
28. Why did the lobsters blush?
Because the sea weed.
29. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
30. Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
31. What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
32. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved!
33. Why did the dolphin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
34. What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
35. What did the seaweed say when it got stuck on the ocean floor?
“Kelp me, kelp me!”
36. Which are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
Mussels.
37. How does the ocean floor keep up to date with the news?
By following current events.
38. Why did the two algae never kiss?
They had a planktonic relationship.
39. The World Wildlife Fund has stated that if humans keep fishing at the current pace, there will be no more fish left in the oceans by 2048. Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.
40. How do you get in touch with a crab?
Call him on his shell-phone.
41. What do you call a fish without eyes?
Fsh.
42. What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
43. Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
44. Two wind turbines sit in the ocean.
One turns to the other and asks, “What music do you listen to?”
The second one says. “I’m a massive heavy metal fan.”
45. Why are oceans called “The High Seas”?
Because of all the seaweed!
46. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
47. What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
48. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey.
49. What did the whale say when he saw his ex-girlfriend?
This is orca-ward.
50. What keeps the ocean from leaking?
The seals.
51. Where does a whale go for braces?
The Orca-dontist.
52. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
53. Where do fish sleep?
On the ocean bed.
54. Why did the crab never share?
Because he’s shell-fish.
55. Why did the hippie drown in the ocean?
He was too far out.
56. What can swim like a fish and sting like a bee?
A Stingray.
57. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
Rrrrr.
58. Who keeps the ocean clean?
The mermaid.
59. What did the starfish say to the pebble?
You rock.
60. Why did the pirate struggle to learn the alphabet?
He always got lost at C.
61. What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
62. I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda.
It was a Fanta-sea.
63. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?
License to Krill.
64. How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
65. Why don’t sharks like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it.
66. Do fish go on vacation?
No, because they’re always in school.
67. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant.
The waiter says “sorry, we don’t serve fish”.
Sand Puns
Well, if you can’t beach ‘em, join ‘em. These hilarious sand puns make great captions for your vacation photos.
1. This is my resting beach face.
2. Sun-day is the best day to visit the beach.
3. This beach is out-sanding.
4. You’re a lucky son of a beach.
5. Beach right back.
6. No one likes a shady beach.
7. Beach don’t kill my vibe.
8. Aloha beaches.
9. Girls just wanna have sun.
10. Don’t worry, beach happy.
11. Tropic like it’s hot.
12. Tis the sea-sun.
13. The beach is very so-fish-ticated.
14. Hope you are having a (beach) ball.
15. I got 99 problems, but a beach ain’t one.
16. If you smoke seaweed on the beach, do you experience high tide?
Ocean Puns
All I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns! Yes, you better believe we’ve got more.
If the jokes about the ocean didn’t do it for you, shorely these ocean puns will.
1. Shell-erbrate good times.
2. Fish you were here.
3. I don’t give a ship.
4. Sea you soon.
5. Searching for that reel love.
6. Whale, hello there.
7. Keep your friends close, and your anemones closer.
8. Seek and ye shell find.
9. Feeling whaley great.
10. The sea makes me nauti.
11. Getting my vitamin sea.
12. O-fish-ally out of office.
13. Sea la vie!
14. I don’t give a clam.
15. Living in a fanta-sea world.
16. Fancy a dip in the ocean, or are you feeling tide?
17. To be pacific, my favorite ocean is the Atlantic.
18. I’ll never be tide down.
19. Feeling fin-tastic.
20. Too glam to give a clam.
21. If there’s a will, there’s a wave.
22. Shell-shocked.
23. I can sea clearly now.
24. Water you doing?
25. Better bait than never.
26. Lost at sea? I’m not shore.
27. I whale always love you.
28. Making waves wherever I go.
Final Thoughts On Beach Jokes
And, we’re fin-ally done.
Has anyone else been dreaming of their next vacation while reading these beach jokes, or is it just us?
Now you have enough jokes about the beach and the ocean to last you all year.
Even if the weather is miserable where you live right now, these jokes and puns will put a sunny smile on your face.
If you’re the joker of your group of friends, brush up on these road trip jokes and these jokes about traveling, so you never run out of witty puns to tell.
