Dear Mom and Dad,
This one is for you.
I know, I’m 26 years old.
I know I may not lead a tidy settled life as you wish …
I know I’m on the other side of the world, and probably too far for you …
I know you miss your little daughter… I would love to tell you that it is reciprocal.
The truth is that yes, I miss you.
The truth is also that most of the time; I did not really have time to miss you.
Dad, I know you do not always understand why my plans change.
If life is full of unexpected, adventure is also full of surprises.
The truth is that I change my mind all the time; my doubts get stuck between my dreams.
How many times have you asked me, when will you come back home?
The truth is that I don’t want to give you false promises.
The truth is that I have no clue.
The world is too big.
And I’m too small.
10 things I won’t tell you about my nomadic life:
- Dad, yes, I have hitch-hiked. I also became a pro.
“Why take the bus, if I can go there for free” has become my favourite transport quote. Yes, sometimes, I have been afraid (discover the truth about hitchhiking). Yes, I’m still alive. Yes, I plan to do it again.
- I went to Australia with a smaller budget than I expected.
I worked on average 50-80 hours for four months before my departure to Australia. It seems that it was not enough … The truth is that the visa is so easy to get, that customs did not check my bank account … And thank, God. Yes, I ended up being broke more than once. And I became a farmer. A real farmer! I am proud to say that I survived the regional work beyond my expectations.
- You know that I’ve had crappy jobs … but you don’t know how I have left.
Life is too short to be unhappy … The adventure is too short to be painful. Have I crossed the world to get stuck with the worst job ever? Unless I am that broke that I need to survive a bit, I have left some of these jobs in a pathetic way … Yes, I left three jobs in the middle of my shift. Yes, I left a job via text messaging … Yes, I left a job with a day’s notice … Yes, I’m not always 100% responsible. Am I still an adult?
- I have crossed Australia with a stranger (let say 90% stranger!).
Yes, I crossed the country with an Englishman met through a group of backpackers … on Facebook. And we bought the car the day after our official meeting. I even fell in love with that guy.
- My debts are still a current story.
Although I told you more than once that my debts were lower than they are … they are still too real. I pay it … through the currency exchange and costly international transfer fees.
- I would love to visit you, but …
I need to pay my debts (see I am an adult!). Being on the other side of the planet, I prefer to spent less and visit the countries around here. It’s only a matter of budget…
- I feel guilty for my absence
I feel guilty for not being there in the good times, as in the worst. I feel guilty to give you false hopes when I think I’ll have enough money to come and visit you, and finally, snap! My plans change again…
- I feel especially guilty of my craving for a poutine
Will you hate me if I say that the thing I miss the most in Quebec, it’s the food? My first thought … My first need … My Quebecker food habits. I know, I’m an ungrateful daughter. But I cannot skype with my poutine. (Poutine is simply THE best Quebecker meal)
- I find it hard to project a long-term life in Quebec.
Being broken (anxious), I am pro at making scenarios. In all these scenarios of the potential future, I hardly imagine myself in the middle of a small sedentary family. I don’t want to be stuck somewhere. I’m sorry, I can’t.
- I find it so easy to project a long-term life … Somewhere… on the road.
So where do you imagine yourself, you should ask. I do not know. But I’ll probably be somewhere trying to catch my heart.
To you Mom
This half who push me to go forward, this half that comforts me when I am full of doubts. Thanks Mom.
There are probably a 20% of my adventures that I dedicate to you. My mother, she is stuck with multiple sclerosis. Her condition did not allow her to travel anymore. She strongly urging me to live fully my journey. My photos become her journey, her pride, she said.
For all those times you forget your skype password, when you send me a hug, when you cry of happiness…
Know that even if I feel guilty sometimes, I know I’m where you want me to be. And that feeling … allows me to pull myself together.
To you Dad
This half who worry, who cares, who wants to know that I’ll be safe … This half who doubts but hope for the best. Thank you Dad.
My father, the rationality first, then the passion. I remember that one day, you told me you were afraid for my future, that I should start thinking about my pension fund, that, perhaps, I had no ambition…
My father, if I’m telling you that these worries do not even pass through my head, what would you answer? If my ambition is to be happy, is it enough? Dad, thank you for agreeing, at your own pace, my nomadic reality.
And you, what have you not told your parents?
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A Broken Backpack is really proud to tell you that this post is now published on Huffington Post!